Let's Talk About...

...why my daughter doesn't wear a bikini...

When I was younger I wasn't allowed to wear a two piece-at my moms. 

{Dads house was another story.}

All my mom ever bought were one-pieces and it was always so annoying. (insert bratty teenage whine) I never understood why I couldn't just wear what so-and-so was wearing. Everyone else's mom let them wear a bikini. 

I remember going over to my friends house and borrowing her bathing suit when we would go swimming. 

Or having her bring me a suit when we went to a pool party.

Naughty-Naughty.

I never really understood the reasoning behind being modest and respecting my body. 

I just knew that my friends who wore the short skirts and low tops were getting all the attention. 

I honestly remember changing my outfit at the bus stop once my mom left for work into a friends skirt, knee high boots, and tank top. And I felt so "sexy". (mind you I was in 8th grade and it was completely inapprop)

The pressures that I faced regarding modesty are still so fresh in my mind. 

Sometimes I still feel them. 

I think my attitude on modesty really changed when I got married.

 Before that I wanted to attract attention, even if it didn't mean the right kind of attention. It's natural to want to feel attractive and draw attention to yourself. 

One night Mike and I went out to to dinner and I was wearing a dress that I thought I felt comfortable in, but the second we got on the highway I realized how low cut it really was. I was pulling at the neckline the entire night. After we got married I became oh-so sensitive to what other women were wearing. Even what some of my friends would wear (or talk about) I found completely inappropriate. 

I think a lot  of girls don't realize that men are wired completely different than we are. They are very visual.
You might just want to get all dressed up and "show a little skin" but you could inadvertently be sending someone elses husband down a slippery slope.
And it really ticks me off when another woman is dress scandalously and could potentially be causing my husband to sin. We should be keeping our bodies for our spouses and not displaying all our goods for everyone to see.

I'm not saying that women should have to only wear long sleeves and floor length skirts. 
You can be stylish and modest.


Ultimately men are responsible for their thoughts and actions, but why try to tempt them? Why try to get another woman's husband to give you a second look?
1 Corinthians 8:13 "So if what I eat causes another believer to sin, I will never eat meat again as long as I live--for I don't want to cause another believer to stumble."
I think this is an amazing verse because "eating meat" can be substituted with anything. 
If what I wear causes another believer to sin, I will never dress like that again as long as I live--for I don't want to cause another believer to stumble.
We shouldn't want to potentially or deliberately cause someone else to sin. 
In my opinion, being called beautiful is a much better compliment than being called "hot". 

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This morning at church I was amazed at the way the teenagers were dressing, My husband even commented on how ridiculous it was. I would never let my child out of the house looking like that. If I can see your butt cheeks-your shorts are too short. Our pastor once gave a sermon on modesty because he said it was very hard to be standing up at the pulpit preaching while there were girls in the pews with super short skirts and low cut shirts. You don't realize what everyone can see when they are standing above you looking into the crowd.

I don't know if these girls realize what kind of attention they are attracting when they choose to dress like that.You want a man who is going to respect you and cherish you. Not just lust after your body.

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This is the reason that I will not  be buying my daughter a bikini. She either has a one-piece on or a tankini. (which I do have to say are much easier for diaper changes and trying to get a slippery, wet, thrashing toddler out of.) And I think these are just as cute as any bikini!

I'm not saying that it's not cute to see chubby little legs and cute little bellies in these adorable bathing suits. But if I let her think that it's cute now, what will she say when she started developing and I tell her she can't wear that anymore? If it was ok when she was little why is it not ok now?

I do not wear a bikini (not just because I have some extra lbs to lose) but because I can't say one thing and do another. There are way too many perverts in the world who would like to see little girls in their underwear. And there are some super cute and stylish one-pieces out there. 

Not all of them are grandma-esque.

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Or head-to-toe

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I wouldn't walk around in front of another man in my underwear, so why should it be ok to wear the exact same thing when I am going swimming??

{I understand that everyone has different views and convictions about things. This is one of my convictions. I am not saying that everyone must feel the same way that I do. Just something to think about}

Happy Monday!

Let's Talk About

Breastfeeding

I am a firm believer in breast is best

::WAIT::

!!!!DON'T SHOOT!!!!

I do believe that it is "best", but not always possible.
For many reasons.

Simply having a squishy baby is a huge adjustment; and sometimes, nursing just isn't possible.

And sometimes people just don't want to.

Not my business.

That said

I am no longer nursing, so I clearly have no room to judge.

I was an idiot firm believer that breastfeeding in public is offensive.

What a betch.

But after spending my fair share of time nursing in a bathroom stall listening to a melodious chorus of flushes and other awesome sounds I changed my tune. We went to a wedding when Ellie was 3 weeks old and I spent half the reception sitting in a bathroom stall. I'm not exaggerating.

Not my idea of a good time.

 A month ago I put away the nursing bras and tank tops, lanolin, and washed my pump kit for the last time and laid it in it's final resting place on the top shelf in the closet.

(That is, until I pop out another little mini) 

Oh breast pump let me count the ways I do not miss you.

I like that I can wear a regular bra. I don't have to worry about wearing something that gives easy access.

I don't have to pump before I go to bed: by golly I can just go to sleep!

We made 8 months; and all things aside I am really proud of myself. The decision to quit stop nursing was a hard one for me. I had given myself very specific goals. Breastfeed exclusively for 6 months, then continue on until the age of 1. And I thought if I didn't meet those goals then I was a failure. (Talk about mommy guilt!) I remember sobbing S.O.B.B.I.N.G. while I gave E her first bottle of formula when she was 3 months old.

I put waaaaaaay too much pressure on myself. It's not that serious. It obviously didn't kill her.

We had a lot of obstacles.

Not at first.

She was 6lbs 12oz at birth, 6lbs 5.5oz at newborn exam, and 9lbs at her one month appointment. We were doing great, but that didn't stop people from asking me if she was getting enough or if the Dr. was happy with her weight gain. SERIOUSLY??? 3lbs in a month, what do you think?? Anytime a baby cries (especially a breastfed baby) they "must" be hungry.

.G.A.H.

I didn't have a lot of support

I mean support in the sense of someone who has breastfed before and gave me advice, counsel, could show me what to do etc.

I had support in the sense of people telling me just to quit.

And then I read this book.

(Seriously La Leche is the best!)

But despite nay-sayers we were doing great.

She tricked me into thinking it was the easiest thing in the world!

She had some belly issues early on that led to about 3 months where scream-o was the soundtrack to my life.

It was awful. I cut out dairy-nada. Took her to the chiropractor-helped a little.

Started giving her a probiotic-hallelujah she started pooping again and the screaming stopped

(for the most part)

Then came the distractable months.

dun-dun-DUNNNNN.....

This in conjunction with the issues we had just conquered was too much. We struggled through about 4 more months nursing but it was just too much.

There were days that I would nurse her in the morning and then wouldn't nurse her again the rest of the day. That really took a toll on my supply. So by the time we put away the nursing pads it wasn't a huge adjustment for either of us.

There are days that I wish I was still nursing. I miss that bond. I wish I hadn't let other people get inside my head and make me doubt myself. 

Sometimes wonder if I should have just pushed through 4 more months but

DAMN IT

I did a good job!

And I have full intentions of nursing every last one of our little offspring.

Next time I'll know to call La Leche League first instead of my Dr who knows nothing about breastfeeding. I'll know to not be so hard on myself and set realistic-short term goals. I'll know to trust my body and not let anyone make me doubt myself, my supply, or my instincts.

And that when I feel like something isn't normal, it probably isn't.

So now E is formula fed.

And that's ok.

Do I still have some mommy guilt

...maybe...

 sometimes.

Breast may be "best"

but giving my baby formula doesn't make me any less of a {GREAT} mom.

Let's Talk About...

Cloth Diapers

I know what you're thinking: GROSS.

And you would be right.

Is it gross-er than disposables?

Yes.

Is it totally worth it?

Definitely, Yes.

When I was pregnant I bragged about how I was going to use Cloth Diapers and how it wasn't a big deal blah blah blah

Then I pushed out a baby and started singing a different tune. It took me a few months to get up the courage to start using them but once I got the hang of it I realized how EASY they are!!!

Even my hubs changes Ellie's cloth diapers...and happily uses the sprayer!

I love using cloth diapers. Most of the time. This afternoon-not so much. Ellie is teething and I'm pretty sure it's doing a number on her stomach so I was really reconsidering my cloth diapering stance while I was hunched over the toilet spraying off a particularly gross insert.

We started using cloth diapers when Ellie was about 3 months and started using them pretty exclusively when she was 4 months. We use them the majority of the time; except overnight. I don't have any hemp or doubler inserts so we just use disposable overnight.

Look at that adorable little booty!!!

The first cloth diapering system we tried was Econobum by the makers of BumGenius.

One kit comes with 3 white covers and 12 prefolds and typically costs $49.95 so for under $100.00 you could have a whole CDing system. These diapers are made to grow with your baby and the problem we ran into was that Ellie was too small and the prefolds were too big. We even tried folding the prefolds like a regular cloth diaper and she looked like she was wearing diaper shorts.  

We decided these weren't going to work for us so ended up getting the Flip System. One kit comes with 2 covers (you choose the colors) and 6 inserts and can take your kid from birth thru potty training. (Depending on the size of your kid-they go up to about 35lbs) You can choose velcro or snap closures. (I would go with snaps, velcro wears easy in the wash and toddlers can figure out velcro easily and I don't want to wake up to a poop mural on the wall) We bought 4 kits. And I L.O.V.E. them!!!

 Ok I love them as much as anyone can love CDing.

If you're going to Cloth Diaper (which you totally can-I have faith in you) here's some good advice

1} Don't buy the cheapest option-trust me I know and am out $100.00. They can be re-used for more than one kid so think of it as an investment.

2} Get yourself a diaper sprayer. Best $50 I ever spent. If you are exclusively breastfeeding you won't need a sprayer until you introduce solids/formula. You can throw that sh!t (LITEREALLY) right into the washer.

My mom calls me a "princess" because I have a sprayer but I am not going to be sticking my hands in poopy water to rinse off a dipaer. No Ma'am.

3} Do the wash every 2 days-3max. (I use Shaklee-because Shaklee is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.) If it is nice outside hand your inserts/prefolds/diapers outside. The sun will naturally bleach them for you.

How kind!

4} Dry Pail, Wet Pail?? DRY PAIL for me, that stale water stanks after adding a few diapers.

5} Get a good diaper pail. I use a garbage pail with a touch lid and mesh laundry bags that I can just throw right into the wash. There are diaper liners out there, but it wasn't something I splurged on.

6} Have diaper cream that is compatible with cloth diapers, you don't want to mess with the absorbancy.

Even though we still use disposables when we are out and about or at night we have still saved a TON of money using our cloth diapers. I plan on using them with all my kids and am glad I got up the courage to tackle them!

Here is a really great site with a lot of good info.

I am seriously considering using cloth wipes while I'm at home.

Gotta save that $$!!

Go here and here  for some FAQ's and some more info.

Do you have any tips or questions about using Cloth Diapers??