Friday, November 4, 2011

Sometimes I'm An Idiot

I went grocery shopping today.
And I'm pretty sure I left my brain at home.
I went to Aldi's, Kroger, then Meijer.
While I was checking out at Meijer I looked in my purse for my wallet and it wasn't there.
I peed my pants.
And had a heart attack.
On top of it all I was mortified because I was trying to buy a 6 pack and it looked like I was underage saying
"Oh, I can't find my wallet..."
I'm pretty sure the cashier didn't believe me.

Thank God I had put my debit card in my pocket at Aldi's so I could at least pay for my cart full of groceries.
That would have been embarrassing if I had to say "ha, never mind...can you put all this back?!"
I knew the last time I had my wallet was at Kroger because I looked in it for my Kroger card.
Which the hubs was hoarding at home.
So as I am frantically calmly walking out of the store I am praying to God that it just fell out onto my passenger seat.
Until I got outside and realized I had left my window down the entire hour I was in Meijer.
I really started panicking.
Thankfully nothing was missing from my car...unless I actually had left my wallet in there.
I threw my groceries in the back and called Kroger and of course no one had turned in a wallet.
I left my info with Meijer in case I left it there, called Mike and told him how dumb I am and then headed to Kroger PRAYING I would find it.
I had my birthday money in my wallet.
All $20 of it!!!
So of course I was panicking.
Actually I just wanted my license because I don't want to have to retake my picture for a new one.
I squealed in to the Kroger parking lot checking under cars and avoiding awkward glances,
checked the toothpaste aisle where I had spent my time hunting for free toothpaste, checked with customer service one more time and then decided I was screwed and headed out to leave.
On a whim I checked the stack of baskets on the way out the door.
Lo' and behold
there was my trusty burgundy wallet sitting in the top basket
all alone.
And everything was still inside.
Jesus loves me.
There's no other explanation as to how I found my wallet and NOTHING was missing.

This isn't the first time I've done something like that.
I've left my entire purse in a dressing room
Left my purse in the grocery store parking lot
Folded my wallet up in the stroller and had a panic attack the next day
clearly I have a problem

But I'm blonde so I get a pass right??

I've decided I don't want to do the grocery shopping anymore.

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