East to West

Last night I finished a Bible study by Beth Moore with some amazing ladies from my church. It was such a great study...Psalms of Ascent. It was so nice to get to know women that I've gone to church with for years, but have never taken the time to get to know. And Beth Moore is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. I HIGHLY recommend doing one ALL of her studies if you get the chance. She is such a talented, honest, Godly woman and I have learned so much through this study. I'm actually going to go back and re-read the study book and finish some of the homework that I didn't make time for :(

I've really been feeling God speak to me on some things and I think that I have been ignoring some most of it. I think that I am so stingy with "my" spare time because I have so little of it and I really haven't been spending enough time with my Creator. Well that needs to change. I always have so much that I say I'm going to start doing and DARN.IT-it's about time I get it together. I'm so sick and tired of wanting things to change and doing nothing about it...because really...I can't complain about anything if I'm not going to put in the effort or take the time to change it. I have really been digging on Casting Crowns lately and whenever I'm in my car I find myself replaying and belting out "East to West". It is so hard to grasp God's forgiveness. I hope that it's something that I can soon understand. He is so gracious and I am so unworthy.

Here I am, Lord, and I'm drowning in your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight
I know You've cast my sin as far as the east is from the west
And I stand before You now as though I've never sinned
But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way
Jesus, can You show me just how far the east is from the west
'cause I can't bear to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm inToday I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night
**I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word reveals**I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me
You're holding on to meJesus, You know just how far the east is from the west
I don't have to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
One scarred hand to the other
From one scarred hand to the other

P.S. Can't forget my Ellie update...still going pretty well with sleep, had to be swaddled to sleep for her first nap, but went down FULLY awake at bedtime and haven't heard a peep yet. CHHHYEAH-BUDDY!

Thankful Thursdays

Since Mike isn't sitting next to me on the couch telling me why I am thankful for him I guess He will be me person of the week :)

My Husband Mike:

-He gave me our beautiful daughter :)

-He is an amazing Dad

-He STILL, after 4 1/2 months, gets up at night with Ellie. WOW. That in-and-of-itself is AH-MAY-ZING! I don't know what I would do without him because...well...this mama needs her sleep!

-He is always so willing to help with E and is such a hands on father, I am so thankful for that. E is one lucky little lady!

-He is always the first to help anyone out anytime they need anything

-He puts in long hours to provide for our family

-He works hard so that I can stay home with Ellie

-He is extremely loyal; friends and family can always count on him

-He is honest and trustworthy

-He is a great handyman and can fix anything with our cars

-He is always there as a listening ear and like a man always wants to fix my problems :)

After 3 years of marriage and almost 10 (EEEEK!!!!) years of being together I love you more and more every day. We have had our UPS.and.DOWNS but I am so thankful to have you in my life. I know that we can make it through anything. Thank you for always sticking by my side and being an amazing man. You are such a great dad, seeing you with Ellie warms my soul. Thank you for being such an amazing man and I can't wait to see what God has in store for our future!

p.s. For my records an Ellie sleep update...still going strong. Went down for bed easy last night and only was up around 2:30 and 6:30 to eat. Still doing really well with naps....now we just have to show her it is A-OK to fall asleep and get back to sleep without her paci! Lets hope she goes down well for Grandma tonight!

Oh Wednesday

Sleep Progress Day 3:

Nap times went really well again today. Ellie was playing under her activity center and rolled over onto her belly and next thing I know those eyes are closed and she was out like a light! No fussing and no encouragement from me needed. ahhhh-mazing :) Nighttime went pretty well too, I put her down semi-awake and haven't heard a peep. I'm sure now that I said that she'll start wailing...

Ellie did really well at church tonight. She still ended up crying towards the end because she was hungry, but hey can you blame her? I feel like my little girl is changing so much! Tomorrow she'll be spending some time with her Auntie in the morning while I go to and appointment and then Grandma will be coming over to watch her while I go to my Bible study. It's going to be a big day for the little miss! Today I decided to join up with Weight Watchers online. Doing it on my own wasn't cutting it and I'm really ready to drop some major lbs. I like to see results fast and I think I'm going to need a little patience when it comes to this. UGH. This weekend Mike is going to a motorcycle class to get his license...lame...so I'm going to be alone all weekend :( At least next week is break between the semesters to he'll be home in the afternoon every day. Gotta love 8 hour work days! Annnnnnnnd my girlfriend Amanda that lives up north is coming home and I'm going to get to spend some time hanging out with her. I am SOOOOOO stinkin excited, I miss this girl like CRAZY! I have a feeling that next week is going to be a good one!

*So I end with this...a Weight Watchers tip...and this one is from my very own brain!

When I eat any sweets, like ice cream for example I use a small...I mean tiny...bowl and a baby spoon. It makes it look like I have a giant helping and the small bites make my brain realize that I am satisfied when I am finished. After all your brain really only registers pleasure for first two bites of something.*

Progress

I'm going to try and keep track of my progress the next few days/weeks with getting Ellie to sleep onher own/eventually through the night so the first part of my post will always be about that.

Well today's nap times went really well. She put herself to sleep on her tummy on a blanket on the floor; which is HUGE progress! She even took a mini-nap in her swing which hasn't happened in ages! I decided to use a teddy blanket instead of a burp rag, I'm just hoping that doesn't bite me in the butt!

Bedtime however was another story. Everything was going well until I tried to feed her and then it went into meltdown mode. She had been eating ever 1.5-2 hours all day (growth spurt?) so it was about time but she wasn't having it. So I put her in her crib and it was all over from there. So I picked her up and swaddled and rocked her until she drifted off. On a good note; it didn't take her long to fall asleep. That's the thing though, I know that we will have good days and bad days and I just have to roll with the punches. Sleep training takes time. There will be nights where she will need a few extra cuddles and that's OK with me because I know that all too soon she'll be miss independent.

I struggle with exactly how honest and open I should be with what I post. I mean I know that it's not like that many people read this blog, but you never know. It is as much about me as it is about Ellie and I guess it just makes me nervous really opening up because Lord knows everyone has their own opinion and plenty of people like to make theirs known. We'll see how things go as time goes on I guess...But I'll end with this picture because it melts my heart and makes me fall even more in love with this man:



A Year Ago

Oh yeah....I can't believe that a year ago yesterday I found out I was pregnant. And now I have a 4 month old beautiful baby girl. God is so good.

Wow time flies.

Easter Weekend

First of all Hallelujah! I am so grateful that Christ died on the cross for my sins and then rose again. I can't wait for the joyous day that I can see my Savior in Heaven. I am not deserving but His grace is sufficient.

So I pretty much slacked off last week on posting anything. Mike took the week off work to recover from his knee surgery and every daily routine went out the window. Ellie and I aren't used to having Daddy home during the week, but we sure loved it! This past weekend for Easter we went up to my Aunt Joys house like I used to do when I was little. Almost all of us "kids" were there, we were just missing my cousin Nicole and her husband. Even my favorite cousin Rachel was there, her and her husband drove up from NC for the weekend. We were best friends growing up and I was so happy to see her! I can't remember the last time we were all together on Easter like that. Saturday we my niece Leah colored eggs and mom and Aunt Joy hid bags of candy outside for us to find, and as usual I was the last to find mine :( Since I can't eat dairy my bag was full of sweedish fish and jelly beans, neither of which I like very much. But it was still nice to be outside like old times. I carried around Ellie in her sling and she loved it, she actually ended up taking a cat nap in it which was a miracle!I was a little extremely nervous taking Ellie away for a weekend but it went pretty well. The 3 hour ride up wasn't to bad she took a few catnaps and she did really well all weekend. She let other people hold and play with her. My mom went to the early service and so she watched Ellie her so Mike and I could go to church. That was a blessing because I haven't heard a sermon in oh I don't know.....3 months! The ride home was a little rough, E was SO tired and therefore quite cranky so it was off to bed for her when we got home. But all in all it was a great weekend!

After being bullied convinced by the pediatrician and my family about letting E cry it out I decided that maybe it was time to do a little sleep training. I haven't come close to sleeping through the night since before I got pregnant. So it is time. I was going to do the no-cry-sleep-solution but quickly realized that is NOT going to work. Phase one is to get her to go to sleep without her paci. YEAH.RIGHT. so instead we are going to go with as-little-tears-as-possible-sleep-solution. She has been rolling over at night and waking herself up so today at nap time I let her roll over on her belly and then I rubbed her back and held her hand and sang to her until she calmed down and put herself off to never-never-land. I am trying to introduce a "lovey" that she will become attached in hopes it will comfort her at bedtime when I am not there. I decided to try to cloth diaper/burp cloth since if one gets ruined/lost/left at home it is easily replaceable since we have about one thousand! That is a huge improvement from swaddle-rock-hold.me.the.whole.time. She is currently on her second nap sleeping peacefully. Lets hope this works. I'll be keeping a log to see how things progress. Wish me luck!

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