When I was pregnant we didn't tell anyone until pretty late in the pregnancy. We kept it a secret and only told immediate family until we had already found out we were having a boy. After the miscarriage I was nervous that everything would be ok so we waited extra long to share the news. We waited just as long to tell Ellie because we didn't want her running around saying "Mommy has a baby in her belly!!" When we told her we tried our best to make sure that Ellie understood what was happening. We would tell her that she was going to be a big sister and that baby Michael was in my belly. We prayed for him every night that he would grow big and strong and that he would be healthy. She would talk about him and she heard his heartbeat when she went to a few of my midwife appointments with me. I really didn't know how much she actually grasped and wondered how much it would rock her world when he actually arrived.
When I went into labor Ellie stayed with my brother and sister-in-law Andrea while we were at the hospital. Andrea sent us lots of pictures of Ellie having fun while she stayed at their house. We couldn't believe how big she looked now that we had another little baby in our family.
Doesn't she look so big!!
We had told her that I was going to have baby Michael and she was going to be a big sister. The day after Michael was born they came up for her to meet him and I was so curious how she would react. I am so thankful to Andrea for capturing these first moments of us as a family of four! Ellie was excited to see her daddy and I and knew right away that this was baby Michael.
I told her that baby Michael was here and wasn't in mommy's belly anymore. She kept saying "aww he's so cuuuute." and "he's so liiiiiittle." She knew that this was baby Michael and this was her little brother. It was so sweet and warmed my mama heart to see her loving her little brother so much.
She was so gentle and sweet with him I couldn't believe it. After a little while my brother and SIL held Michael while Ellie and her little cousin entertained themselves playing in the hospital room. It was such a sweet time and I was so glad that Ellie was able to come up and meet her little brother.
Since we have been home she hasn't asked if there is a baby in my belly and she absolutely adores Michael. She looks for him first thing in the morning, she always strokes his head and says he's so cuuute, when I burp him she pats his back and says "he's such a good baby", and she covers him with a blanket; and not his head either. She will just put it over his legs and say "there ya go". She tells me she loves him and is just so sweet.
She seems to have adjusted so well and hasn't had really any behavioral changes or jealousy outbursts. She has never tried to hit him, or ask when he's going back to the hospital. She was in heaven after he was born because Mike took some time off work and she got to play with daddy all day. I love her sweet spirit and am so thankful that it was a pretty smooth transition for her. I am so excited to watch them grow up together and I pray the become the best of friends in the years to come!
I can't believe that Michael has already been here for a whole month! (Ok almost 7 weeks, it's hard to blog when I'm nursing or keeping a 2 year old entertained all day.) Time has flown by; except for when Mike is at work allllll day, those days seem to drag on. We're still trying to figure out a routine around here. When Mike is at work it's hard for me to time Ellie's bath/bed time around Michael's feeding time. It seems like it changes every day, or he just ends up cluster feeding for 4 hours and I can't seem to get anything done. But I know how incredibly fast this stage goes and I am perfectly content getting in all the snuggles as I can!
This Month:
*You weigh 10lbs 7oz (Up from 7lbs 11oz at your newborn appointment).
*You are just starting to get too big for your newborn clothes. I'm not ready to pack them away yet!
*You eat like a champ. You eat about every 2-3 hours and cluster feed most nights before bed.
*You are still in a newborn diaper (we switched to size 1 shortly after 1 month)
*You eat around 9pm then I wake you up for another feed when we go to bed. You usually give us about a 4 hour stretch and then every 2-3 hours after that. Then we are up for the day when Ellie wakes up any time between 8:00-9:30.
You really like to be held. As soon as we put you down you wake right up. I am so thankful for our Moby Wrap and Ergo. A few minutes after I pop you in the carrier you are out cold. You aren't a fan of your swing or bouncer. Just Mommy or Daddy's arms. Looking at Ellie and seeing how big she is really reminds me just how fast time flies so I am content to hold you and give you what you need. You won't want to be held forever!
You grunt a lot. Thankfully you aren't that big of a crier-unless we are in the car. I don't know why but you hate that thing. I feel awful whenever we go anywhere, but we can't stay cooped up in the house forever. You are a little hot box so we bought you a fan that clips on your car seat so hopefully that will help cool you down and you will be more content. You don't want to take a pacifier and no matter how hard we try we can't get you to suck your thumb. You just like mama. For naps you like to be bounced and swayed to sleep, but at bedtime you pretty much just pass out while you are eating.
You aren't much of a crier. You don't cry when we change your diaper or when you wake up for middle of the night feedings. You really only fuss when you are tired or want to be held. You have the cutest little pout face and sometimes when you cry you "mew" like a little kitten. It's the cutest thing!
Ellie is obsessed with you. She always looks for you first thing when she wakes up in the morning and says "Awwwww, he's so ca-uute" and "gotta be niiiice to the baby" while she strokes your head. She always needs to cover you up with a blanket; and surprisingly she doesn't cover your face! She is always giving us play by plays of what you are doing. When you cry she says "He's saying La".
I can't imagine life without you here and I am so excited to see your personality start to show. You are such a sweet boy and we love you so much!!
So where did I leave off-Oh yeah, I was admitted to L&D around 4:00 and was starting to have more painful contractions that were still about 2 minutes apart. I was still talking and joking while Mike and Bonnie (my doula) were setting up and tub and every time I would have a contraction I would lean over the bed and Bonnie would come press on my hips. Once the tub was finally set up and full enough for me to get in I happily stripped down to my sports bra and got in. The water was warm and felt amazing. It really helped me to relax during contractions.
Around 5:30ish (I honestly lost all sense of time during labor) my midwife came in and checked me and said that I was at 5cm and asked me if I wanted her to break my water. I looked at Bonnie and she told me that it was up to me, and I said that I didn't want them to because I was afraid that things would start to progress too fast and I wouldn't be able to handle the contractions anymore. When I was in labor with Ellie all hell broke loose when the broke my water so I was afraid the same thing would happen again-even though I didn't have any pitocin this time. I had Mike find The Desert Song on his phone and play that on repeat. Bonnie found a Christian worship station and that played in the background for the rest of my labor.
During contractions I tried a few different positions in the tub. I sat with my back against the tub and Mike and Bonnie would push my knees in towards my body, I laid on my side and Bonnie would push my hip down towards the bottom of the tub, and I laid like a frog with my head resting on the side of the tub and Bonnie and Mike would do the hip press during every contraction. The last position was the most comfortable and really let me relax my whole body during a contraction so that was mostly the position I was in. During contractions I would close my eyes and do the "singing the baby down" moaning that instinctively just comes out of you. I never asked for an epidural and I knew it was an option but getting one never crossed my mind. When I was having contractions I would just moan and breathe and tell myself it will end, just wait for the break. And when the contraction was at it's peak and the pressure was so intense I knew that it was almost over.
At 7:00pm there was a shift change and a new midwife came in. I was in the zone and don't remember her introducing herself but she checked me and I was 7-8cm and again asked me if I wanted her to break my water. I declined again since I was handling contractions fine and planned on just letting it break on it's own. At this point I got a little afraid because I knew this meant that I was going to have to push without and epidural and that scared the crap out of me. The midwife-Amy- told me I was doing a great job, and I just remember thinking Lady you just got here, how do you know?? Contractions started getting really intense and I was relaxing my body so much during them that while Mike pressed on my hips, Bonnie and to hold my head above the water because my mouth and nose kept dropping. So in between contractions Mike had to try and bail some of the water out (It was a free standing tub filled by a hose from the shower so it didn't have a drain) and Bonnie gave me apple juice and fed me ice chips. By this point I was just so tired. I told Bonnie "I'm ready to be done; I don't want to do this anymore." She said you don't have to.
Amy checked me again a little bit before 7:30 and I was 9-9 1/2cm and this time I told her she could break my water. She did and there was some meconium in the water so she said that there were going to have to be a few more people in the room to make sure the baby was ok after he was born. I had another contraction and I said I have to push. He's coming. She said "Ok, let's have one more contraction in the tub and we'll see where you are. I had another one and I said (more so groaned/yelled) "My body is pushing. He's coming." And Bonnie said "He really is, he is right there." So Amy said "Ok Michelle it's time to get out of the tub." And I said "No." She said "You have to get out of the tub." Mike (who was pissed and scared that we waited this long to get out of the tub) and Bonnie grabbed my arms and lifted me up and told me to step over the edge. I told them I couldn't-How in the heck was I going to lift my leg when there was a baby coming out? They told me I had to so I got one leg out and then the other and immediately squatted on the ground. Amy said "No, you have to get to the bed." Somehow I walked to the bed and was leaning over it and someone stripped off my sports bra.
There I was in all my glory in front of a room full of strangers-but honestly at that point I didn't even care. They helped me crawl onto and up to the top of the bed facing the back of the bed on my hands and knees and I tried pushing in that position and I looked at Bonnie (with terror in my eyes I'm sure) and told her I couldn't push like that. So after a contraction I laid down on my side and Mike held my one leg while I pushed. I'm not even going to lie pushing hurt like a bitch. Ring of fire my ass-that doesn't even begin to describe it. I felt like I was going to tear every which way. I was grunting/groaning loudly and almost kicked the midwife in the face and was clutching the arm of a nurse I hadn't yet met. I remember thinking there was no way this baby was coming out. There was the typical encouragement, you're doing great, he's almost here, push like you have to poop, etc. Finally he was out and Amy brought him up to me and he had the cord wrapped around his neck and wasn't breathing. I had wanted to have immediate skin to skin and delayed cord clamping but instead the took him over to the warmer to get him breathing and make sure he was ok. His health and safety was obviously the most important thing.
He was over on the warmer with the dr's and nurses for about a half hour while they cleared his lungs and made sure he was ok. Thankfully he was perfectly fine and they brought him over to me and he nursed for about an hour. I couldn't believe that I had a baby boy and was now a mother of two!
The day seemed long, but I was only really in active labor for about 3.5 hours. I pushed for 10 minutes and thank the Lord didn't need any stitched. Michael James was born at 7:45pm May 15, 2013. He weighed 8lbs and was 21in long.
I had such an amazing labor and there is no way I could have done it without the help of Mike and Bonnie. And the tub! If we have any more kids I will definitely be hiring Bonnie again. She is just amazing!!
And for the record doing my hair and make-up was pointless because I was a hot mess by the time he was born!
On Tuesday when Mike got home from work he needed to mow the lawn but said he was going to take a nap instead and mow on Friday. I was 39 weeks and told him "You might not be able to on Friday!" Needless to say, he still took a nap. That night I was feeling pretty emotional so I told Mike I had to get our of here and met my mom for dinner at Olive Garden just her and I. As soon as I saw her in the parking lot I started crying. I told her I was just feeling really overwhelmed. And that I was scared at the thought of having two kids soon and I was anxious about labor and delivery. She told me "Well just get an epidural then." I wasn't really nervous about the pain, it was the anticipation of having NO idea when I was going to go into labor. It wasn't like that with Ellie-with her we went into the hospital for another reason and they told me I was going to have a baby that day. I felt a lot better after chatting with my mom and having some alone time out of the house. Even though I'm old and married now and a mom myself-sometimes I still just need my mom. I was having braxton hicks through out dinner and while we were shopping at the Christian book store but I had a lot this pregnancy so I didn't really think anything of it. Once I got home I watched some TV and went to bed.
I woke up a little before 4:00am feeling pretty crampy and having to go to the bathroom and thought maybe this it it-but there was no way I was going to get out of bed to try and jump start labor. I knew that I would need my rest and figured if it was labor then it would happen no matter what. I kept feeling crampy and dozed off and on until 7:00 and finally fell back to sleep when Mike got up for work. Ellie woke up around 9:00 and I got out of bed and went to the bathroom and put in my contacts and thought "Yep. that was a contraction." When I went to her room to get her out of her crib I thought "Yep, that was another one." Then we got breakfast and I thought "Yep. That's another one." I sent Mike a text and said "don't get all excited but you might be coming home from work today..." He called me and told me to time my contractions and I told him I didn't have time for that, I was doing stuff. I could still talk through the contractions and they weren't super painful so I figured that I had some time. If I was going to have a baby there was stuff that needed to get done. I washed the dishes, cleaned the bathroom, vacuumed the living room, folded the laundry, etc. And I took a shower and did my hair and make-up because darn it I was going to look good in pictures right after I had him. (Ha, yeah right.)
Once I finished everything I decided that maybe I should time them so I used my handy dandy contraction timer app and timed them for about a half hour and sent Mike a screen shot of the data. My contractions were about 2 minutes apart and about a minute long. He told me that I needed to call Bonnie our Doula and let her know what was going on.
She instantly called me and told me I needed to tell Mike to come home and this was the real deal. I was still pretty skeptical because of the false alarm we had 2 weeks prior, and because I wasn't really in much pain. I was expecting the horrible pain like I had that night. I told both Mike and Bonnie I didn't think I was close but they both thought I was. So I finally told Mike to come home and asked my dad to come over and watch Ellie at our house instead of his. I was supposed to have a prenatal appointment with my midwife that day at 1:20 and my dad was going to watch her but I told him instead I might be having a baby. He got to our house around 12:15 and Mike and I headed out shortly after. Thankfully our bags were packed for all of us so we didn't have to worry about any of that.
I told Bonnie we were on our way and we headed for the hospital. I wasn't really looking forward to the car ride there with contractions that were 2 minutes apart but it wasn't too horrible. Just a lot of pressure. I told Mike not to get pulled over (which would be his MO) and closed my eyes and had him blast The Desert Song on repeat the whole way there.
We met Bonnie up at L&D and went into triage and got hooked up to the monitors. My contractions were indeed about 2 minutes apart and the midwife on call checked me and said "You're 2.5/3cm" I looked at Mike and said I told you I wasn't close. They monitored me for a little bit and said that Michael's heart rate wasn't reactive enough so they did a biophysical profile to check on him. It was so cute to see him on the ultrasound doing practice breathing and opening and closing his hands and kicking around. Everything looked fine so they told me I could go walk around for a little bit and see if I progressed at all.
Mike and I went and walked up and down the stairs (and went and got him a pizza from the cafeteria-they have amazing food!) to try to get things going. During every contraction I did lunges on the stairs or did the pelvic tilt standing up against the wall. I said "This is crap I'm tired. I know why people get induced, I just want to go into labor-I don't want to have to work for it." I was getting hot and the contractions were getting more painful so we went back into the waiting room and I walked around there for a bit. We finally went back into triage and hooked me back up to the monitors. Bonnie could see on the monitor when I was having a contraction and she and Mike would push on my knees when one came until it was over. It really helped relieve the pressure. The midwife came back in and checked me and I had progressed to a 4. Hallelujah!! She asked me if she could do a membrane sweep and I swear she checked my tonsils while she was in there! She said alright let's get you admitted and then I started to cry. Not big sobbing alligator tears, but I got a little emotional knowing that we were going to be meeting our son soon and a little afraid about labor and delivery. I really wanted to go natural, but there was a HUGE part of me that didn't really think that I could do it. Bonnie said "You didn't want to get sent home but now that you're being admitted you're crying!?!"
We were sent over the a birthing room and Bonnie and Mike started to get the tub ready while coming to do the hip press every 2 minutes when I was having a contraction. After about 30 minutes the tub was filled enough for me to get in and I gladly got in.
Tuesday May 7th (I was 37 weeks) Ellie and I went over to my SILs house to hang out for a little bit (where I had an Amy's spinach and mozzarella pizza for lunch-trust me it's relevant) and then we came home to take a nap. When I woke up around 4:00 Mike was home from work and I was feeling pretty crampy and my back hurt pretty bad. I walked around a little bit and took a bath to see if that would help with the back pain but it did nothing. I called our Doula (Bonnie)to let her know what was going on and she said that she thought it was the real thing and that I would probably go pretty quick. I was really in a lot of pain and it seemed like the contractions never stopped. There was no break in between them and I had this horrible constant back pain. Bonnie told me to time them but it was impossible because they never stopped. She also told me to try some different positions to help with the back pain but nothing felt good.
My mom picked Ellie up on her way home from work and took her to my sister's house and Mike and I headed to the hospital. We valeted the car and I got a wheelchair and Mike wheeled me up to L&D. Bonnie was already there and we got checked into triage. I had been praying the whole way there "Please let me be at least 5cm. Please God Please." So when they got me hooked up to the monitors they checked me and I was a 1. Are you fricking kidding me. At the rate I was going there was absolutely NO way that I was going to be able to have a natural childbirth like I had been hoping for. The back pain was still so unbearable and the midwife offered me sterile water injections, which are 4 injections in the small of your back that are supposed to relieve the pain of back labor. I was hesitant at first because I had heard that they hurt. Bonnie and the midwife told me it would sting a little but they convinced me that it would take away the pain I decided to go ahead and do it. They weren't kidding. The injections stung like a bitch. While they did the first two I was begging them to stop-and I still have two more to go. I'm sure I looked like a huge baby; but holy crap it stung.
And son of a B the back pain was still there.
The midwife suggested we go walk around and see if I would progress at all so out into the lobby we went. The whole time we had been at the hospital I kept saying that I just wanted to throw up. I was so nauseous and kept taking trips to the bathroom to see if I was going to vomit. Bonnie kept suggesting different positions to help manage the contractions and doing the hip press and pressing on the small of my back but it still wasn't helping with the back pain. I just kept saying "nothings helping. Nothing feels good." I kept trying to drink water and apple juice but it just kept making me feel more nauseous. Finally after a few more laps around the waiting room I went into the bathroom and threw up all the spinach pizza that I had ate for lunch. I felt a little bit better after that but not much. We finally went back into triage and they checked me again and I was still a 1 so they decided to discharge me around 11:00pm and send me home. They gave me 2 Tylenol 3 with codeine and an Ambien to help me sleep that night.
We got home and I took a quick bath and then popped my pills and laid down to go to sleep. I was still in so much pain that I couldn't sleep and got up 2 more times to throw up. I was in tears and told Mike "I'm really sorry but we have to go back. I feel like I'm dying. I can't do this anymore" so we got back to triage around 3:00am. They checked me again and I was at 2cm (so all that throwing up helped make some progress) and they FINALLY gave me some medicine for the nausea and a bag of fluid. They had me give a urine sample and turns out I was extremely dehydrated. I was finally able to get some rest and they gave me another bag of fluid. They had me give another sample and it turns out that it showed that I was having a kidney stone. No wonder I felt like I was dying. Once I was rehydrated I felt WAY better and they discharged me again around 9:00am.
I should have known better-when I was pregnant with Ellie I ended up getting dehydrated and had a kidney stone during the third trimester too. Now we know next time to expect that I will have some sort of kidney problems between 30 and 37 weeks; and that under no circumstance can I let myself get dehydrated.
We were a little disappointed that we weren't going to meet our little man that day, but I was so relieved to finally be pain free. So the countdown to D-day continued...
My sister(in-law) is an AMAZING photographer. When I was around 32 weeks she took our maternity pictures for us and they turned out perfectly! I LOVE them! I was a little nervous (not that the pictures wouldn't be good, but because I am always really hard about how I look in pictures and nit-pick every little thing, but I am SO happy with these!!)My other Sister(in-law) did my hair and make-up for the shoot and it was so nice to have my own little team of stylists. It was so nice to feel beautiful and have a day all about our little family.
If only we would have been able to get more pictures with Ellie, but what are ya gonna do?! You can only bribe a 2 year old with cookies for so long.
