Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Bad Day

I'm having a bad day today. I don't really know what my issue has been lately but I've just been "off". A lot of it I'm sure has to do with the house arrest that I've been under lately with Ellie's tummy troubles and the slew of issues that has come along with that. It's also been pretty crappy weather lately so that means no walks in the sunshine or vitamin D for me. And I've been feeling pretty lonely...Mike's work schedule sucks, and the days are really long when you can't leave the house or have no one to talk to. Other than babbles from my sweet girl. Don't get me wrong, I love staying home with Ellie and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I guess I'm just down because I am realizing who my real friends arenow that I have a baby. I guess that happens at every stage of life actually. When you graduate High School you lose touch, then when you get married you see who is still there, and then once you have seems your lucky to have a few still hanging around. I guess I'm really sick of having one-sided relationships where I feel like I'm the only one trying to keep in contact or put in effort. It shows me who my real friends are, and sadly there are only a few...and most of them are my siblings. HA! So maybe it's the fact that E has been giving me a run for my money lately, maybe it's the fact that I feel like I'm losing a friend, or maybe it's the rain...but tonight, I just want to put my head under the pillow and cry. Maybe tomorrow will be better. I hope tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow will be will. I hope.... Because I don't want another day like today.


Renae said...

I'm so glad I decided to read down your page! I have been feeling the exact same way!!! My hubby has been working a ton, even weekends, so I feel like we don't see him, and when he is home he's working on his grad class.

I feel like I need to make friends with new mom's because even though I have friends who stay home they are all busy and have limited time to just hang out.

Don't feel like you are alone feeling like this :-)

Ashley S. said...

These feelings are so normal. I felt so alone during my daughter, Emma's first year. I cried all the time and I struggled with resentment, because my husband was gone ALL THE TIME (or at least it felt like it). Staying home is a huge adjustment. Please no that you are not alone. I am here if you want to talk and I would be happy to give you my phone number. *big hug*