Wednesday, December 14, 2011

A toddler?

I can't believe this time last year I was going to bed for the last time being pregnant.
I thought I had at least three more weeks before I would meet my daughter.
But Wednesday December 15, 2010 at 11:06pm I met our little girl.

It was the craziest and most amazing experience of my life.
I loved being pregnant, and surprisingly I loved labor and delivery.
It didn't go exactly as I expected but I can't wait to do it again.
Next time the goal is to go all natural.

I was only in actual labor for a little over 4 hours and only pushed for 8 minutes.
It was the most intense thing I have ever gone through.
It hurt like a beetch.
But seeing her beautiful face was the best moment of my life and definitely worth it.

I can't believe that I just put my BABY to bed for the last time.
Tomorrow I will wake up and she will be a toddler.
Where did the last year go?
As hard as it was when she was a newborn and she screamed her brains out because her belly hurt I would go back and do it all over again in a heartbeat.

When I say I miss my little baby everyone tells me to just have another one.
But it won't be the same.
It won't be Ellie. I don't want to just replace her.
It will be a new baby and I will be chasing around a toddler too.
I won't be able to have the same experiences I had because it won't be just me and the new baby.
Part of me feels like I'm grieving the fact that this stage of our life is over.
But I whole-heartedly love where we are now.
She is such a sweet little girl.
Her personality is really starting to show and she cracks me up.
She is so fun, and I love that we are able to do things together.
She will have a "conversation" with me and it is the cutest thing ever.
I love the way she scrunches up her nose when she smiles
and the way she gets so excited when daddy comes home from work.
As much as I am going to miss this stage I am so looking forward to what is to come.
I just know I'm not going to take anything for granted.
Time goes by so fast and I know it's only going to go faster in the future.

Eleanor Ruth I love you so much and can't believe they way you've turned my world upside-down.
I never knew the capacity I had to love unconditionally.
I am so excited to watch you grow and change as the days go by.
I love you.

1 comment:

Tami said...

Happy Birthday to your sweet Ellie! This was such a beautiful post and I can definitely relate to so much of what you said. It's so hard watching them grow out of the little baby stage and I think you are completely right when you say it won't be the same with the second.