Tuesday, May 3, 2011

WORD VOMIT

*****DISCLAIMER: The following post is random. A rant. The scattered thoughts rolling around in my blonde, often paranoid, brain. It is word vomit, my way to shout from the mountain tops. Something I need to get off my chest. I'm not worried if you like it, agree with it, or think I'm crazy. Hence why I wrote this. You have been warned*****

Sometimes I just wanna S.C.R.E.A.M. I get SO sick of worrying about everyone else. What everyone else is thinking, are so-and-so's feelings hurt, what does so-and-so think about me, is so-and-so mad at me, does so-and-so feel /sad/leftout/mad/happy ETC. Ya know what I think sometimes...WHAT ABOUT ME??? WHAT ABOUT HOW I FEEL? I know that this sounds selfish/childish/immature but I am SICK AND TIRED of worrying about everything and everybody. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. Why does everything have to be so difficult. For Pete's sake let your YES be YES and your NO be NO. It is honestly that simple. SAY what you MEAN and MEAN what you SAY. If you want something then for THE LOVE OF GOD say it. I know a lot of it is my fault because I read into things a lot  but if people were just easier to read then I wouldn't be in this pre-dick-a-ment. I struggle with this in EVERY aspect of my life. Friends.Family.Work.(well not anymore cause I work for Ellie and well she always tells me how she feels lol) But this is ENOUGH. I am done. I'm taking the weight OFF my shoulders and I'm going to start LIVING.MY.LIFE. for God, myself, and my family. I am all about being kind.courteous.respectful but no more walking on eggshells. If it is so easy for everyone to hurt my feelings why do I OBSESS over everyone else's feelings. People ALONG WITH MYSELF. Need to quit taking everything SO PERSONALLY. SHEESH! IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS!
Hi, my name is Michelle and this is ME. I am no longer going to try and fit into your LITTLE BOX of what you want/think/make.me.feel I should be. If you've got something to say, by all means say it. TO ME. This does not, I REPEAT DOES NOT, mean that I am going to be a big *B* and say whatever I want whenever I want and hurt everyones feelings. That's crappy and not the way that we should live. But it does mean that I am relieveing myself of taking on everyone elses burdens and the burden of worrying about what is going on in everyone elses head. DONE AND DONE. That is all. Thank you.

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